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“It’s not what I think I mean that is important, it’s not what you think I mean that’s counts, but it’s what I think you think I mean that worries me”.

This convoluted bit of mental gymnastics goes on in most people’s lives at some time, and causes major stress in everyone playing this dangerous game.

In society, we are drawn into this energy draining trap, out of a desire to fit in and not be left out.  We discover at a very young age, “It’s COLD outside”

Of course this is not a game played one move at a time like chess, or each player taking a turn, because in reality, everyone embroiled in the game is trying to figure out what the other person is thinking and at the same time how their every action or word will be understood by the others, like a dangerous series of “Survivor Social Networking”.

In this ever evolving spider’s web of mind reading and play acting, there are no winners.  At times, someone may successfully project the image of self-confidence, happiness, ease and flow … but like so many doctored social media posts, it’s just an appearance and part of the stressful game to be a valuable member of the team and not get voted out in any of the many ways possible.

The great news is that the moment you realise you are trapped in this web of appearances, if you stop struggling, acknowledge that nothing is as it seems, that nothing can be trusted as real and at the same time everything is deeply real, you have just taken your first steps to extricating yourself from the self-made trap, and living a life of greater ease and flow.

The reason we can assume that everything is the opposite of what it appears to be AND nothing is the opposite of what it appears to be, is that in this crazy game, everyone is genuinely in survival mode, so even the characters played so well in this live improv performance, are the real survival version of your friends and acquaintances.

To understand the escape strategy, remember that every thought, word and action you have broadcasts not only the conscious message, but also the  base energy of how you are feeling at your core.  And as all living things are both transmitters AND receivers, your energy of survival is what creates the boundaries and unwritten, unspoken rules of the game of “Survival Social Networking”.  So when you genuinely change your energy to a more centered , balanced, secure and genuine energy, based on who you truly are without the mask, the costume and the cleverly crafted survival script, that new energy is perceived by the other players, and although they may keep reacting to each other by the rules of the game, they will respond to you on YOUR frequency and not only is the game over for you, but everyone is a winner.

So what are the steps?  Very simply, take some time to think back, through your whole life, and identify occasions when you realise in retrospect that you were not acting, not trying to be someone, not trying to impress, not trying to survive, but just being you because you felt totally safe.  Remember what that feels like and note what THAT person was like and as you recall those occasions, feel how you were feeling, note the sensations in your body, how you were breathing, how your muscles felt, how you were standing or sitting, how your voice sounds, and what you are thinking.  Now start to step into that version of you every time you have to interact in any way with other people.  Don’t expect to be able to be conscious of your state every time, but practice it in specific situations with specific people, maybe a spouse, sibling, parent or kids or a trusted friend.  Notice the change in THEIR behaviour in response to the new/old you.  Most of all, take time to acknowledge how well embracing your true, unlimited soul self affects everyone and everything around you, and how much ease this brings to your life, and how much more you enjoy living.

Before long, you will be donning the king’s real robes at all times in all situations, and you will have created a whole new fantastic life.  A new reality, devoid of games.

The greatest challenge is to realise you are in the game, and have the courage to extricate yourself from the roles you have chosen to play, and be vulnerable and courageous enough to embrace your true soul self, with faith that the outcome will be greater than you ever thought possible.

I challenge you to accept the challenge, of realising you are a world class actor, and you can consciously choose the character you play, remembering you are are on the world stage, and that the best role you ever played is YOU.