I’ve seen and heard the mental gymnastics when people are invited out to dinner, and the guest brings a gift along. Some people genuinely love to give gifts and the greatest blessing the dinner invite offers is the opportunity to find a suitable gift to give to the host. For others though, they strongly express the belief “I guess I had better find a gift to take to them, otherwise they will think poorly of me”. And on the other side, there are hosts that appreciate the gift and love the gesture even if they don’t love the gift itself, counterposed is the host that resents that they guest brought a gift, either because it detracted from the prestige of them giving the dinner, or because they see no value in the gift, or both.
This brings to light the two ways we as humans can operate, either from the heart and soul, or from the mind and body.
The mind and body tends to look at life from a judgmental perspective, with a series of well justified and rationalised expectation which often involve complex computations as to what every action means about them or the rest of the world. This belief system, often a mix of conscious and unconscious fixed points of view, fed by well validated judgments and agendas, spoken or unspoken, can of course be very exhausting and stressful. This would release hormones like adrenaline, nor-adrenaline and cortisol and results in feelings of judgment, separation, and even rejection. It is a constant balancing game of keeping score on the imaginary social scale, when in fact the real score sheet is the energy expended, lost or gained, and is usually a loose-loose stalemate. These people are the givers and the takers.
The heart and soul on the other hand, operates with the energy flow which is completely devoid of judgment and agendas. The impulse to invite someone over (in this example) or buy a gift to take with, is sensing the energy of a soul connection and acting on it with an open heart, just because it feels light. The dinner invite is from the heart, and the gift is equally from the heart because both people wish to bring a bit of joy to the other’s life, and in turn get joy from that simple, unselfish act. There is no stress for either party in this kind of exchange, and in fact the physiological reaction in the body would be the release of happiness hormones like serotonin, oxytocin and dopamine, creating a sense of calm, love, connection and reward. These would be the gifters and receivers.
Imagine that a friend offers you a juicy red apple. Tune into your body for a moment and see what sensations and emotions come up with the following two scenarios.
Your friend holds onto the apple firmly, holding it close to their body, and when you reach out for it they hold it out to you and you take it from them with your hand. Giving and taking.
or: Your friend holds an apple out to you on the palm of their outstretched hand, and when you place your hands together, palms up and stretched towards them waiting to receive the gift which they place gently into your open hands. Gifting and receiving.
Can you imagine how fulfilling and rewarding life would be when you live listening to your souls guidance, operating with an open heart, with love and gratitude, and free of the mind and body’s competitiveness, rationalisations and judgments.
I dare you to gift with love and receive with heartfelt gratitude the next time there is an opportunity, and notice the ease, lightness and joy it brings.